eat, pray, love?

Do you have to go on a crazy journey to Italy, India and Bali to discover who you are, what you want and who want to be? Short answer, no probably not. Long answer, I am definitely the wrong person to ask.

I have always fantasised, maybe even romanticised the idea of travelling. About running away, buying a one-way ticket to somewhere on the other side of the world, with one suitcase and just buggering off for a bit. Movies like Eat, Pray, Love definitely did not help this fantasy of mine. Damn you Julia Roberts and your wonderful (fictional) adventure of self-discovery, romance and pizza. Now not only am I looking at flights to Italy, I'm hungry.

Right now, I am just a 19 year old English girl with a list of places to go longer than my arm and very little money to fund such endeavours. Although I was fortunate enough to backpack around Europe for 2 weeks last summer with one of my best friends, I have never been outside of Europe. This is going to change very soon, as I am going to Laos to volunteer at an Elephant Sanctuary this July! (Eeek!) It is times like these, when you type a sentence like that, one you thought you'd never be able to type, I remember my privilege. Travelling is not a birth-right, it is a luxury. I saved for a long time to be able to travel to Laos, and go backpacking last year. I don't think Julia busted tables for months before she ran off to Italy, but I'll let her off because it looks like she was going through some serious stuff.

Although I've never been a fan of reality, the reality of travelling is that it can be expensive. Not always, but a lot of the time. And if you are going with the hope of self-discovery you may want to lower your expectations your little. Of course, you will learn things about yourself and the world around you but if you're going to "find yourself" I beg you to re-consider. I have a problem of running away when I'm sad, thinking that a new environment will solve my problems. Can you guess what happens? I find myself in a new location, still sad, my phone battery nearly dead from over-using Google Maps and £45 poorer because I booked my train ticket so last minute. Don't get me wrong, travelling is wonderful and one of my favourite things to do, but it most probably, definitely will not solve all your problems.

Travel is a privilege and one of the best forms of education. I'm not sure whether lovely Julia actually went a journey of self-discovery, maybe more of a quite intense holiday... debatable. Nevertheless, if you are given the opportunity of travel I am of the school of thought that you should always take it. You meet people from all walks of life you never would've met, you learn how to deal with unexpected situations, you learn new languages, you gain perspective, and so much more. All because you bit the bullet and got on the plane alone even though you hate flying.


At the moment I'm trying to figure out three things:

1. Who am I? 

2. What do I want? 

3. Who do I want to be?

I have no answers yet. All I know is that I know very little, but I'm working on it. Before attending university I wanted to take a gap year but my parents weren't very keen on the idea, preferring me to go after university. And so I did as they asked, but now I'm at the end of my first year and I have spent a lot of time (too much time, sorry lecturers) day dreaming about being anywhere else. Scrolling through Pinterest the other day I stumbled across an Eat, Pray, Love quote, and the following thought crossed my mind;

"Crap. Is it time for eat, pray, love?"

Though I am not going through a divorce or a messy break-up with James Franco, I am struggling more than I would like to admit. And much to my parent's and bank account's dismay, leaving the country for a year to explore the world still sounds incredibly appealing. 

So there it is. I'm not sure how to end this, ultimately I have no answers, no word, but I do have hope. Hope that one day I will explore the world and discover the answers to my questions. (Sorry Mum & Dad.)