Outfits to die for - Killing Eve

The casting, the writing, the cinematography, the freaking French music! I could sing Killing Eve's praises until the cows come home. Everyone else already has so I won't too much for now.  Undeniably it very quickly became my favourite show I've seen it a long time.Yes, it's up there with Parks & Recreation and even Bake Off.

Dear sweet murderous Villanelle, the woman may have a few skeletons in her closet but she also has some incredibly beautiful outfits in there too.


In no particular order, here are a few of my favourites.

Number 1:

I mean, obviously. What else does one wear to a therapy session? How else do you accurately articulate you are of sound mind and body? Fit to continue being an effective assassin with sensational style? Simply nothing else would work.



Number 2:

Great. Now I need a new wardrobe, a motorbike, a motorbike license and a trip to Italy. Shortly after this she puts on that blue dress which of course I also would very much like please and thank you. Sorry baby bank account, xoxo.


Number 3:

I just really love this coat. It's glorious. At first I thought it's not very Villanelle, the gentle, soft fabric and demure colour. But of course, she pulls it off. She subverts expectations, and dresses to reflect herself, her mood and yet at the same time she dresses to hide herself, to reflect a character. Suddenly a psychopath becomes pretty relatable.


Number 4:

 

This suit says a myriad of things.Powerful. Strong. Don't you mess with me I'm on a mission. I think we all need a suit like that.


We're now two seasons in and I'm well and truly hooked. I can't wait to see what Villanelle does and wears next.





Honourable mention goes to these pyjamas.

scribbles no.2 - a post for the couple at the train station

I saw a couple at a train station a little while ago, this girl really didn't want her boyfriend to leave. And I'm not sure why, but I wrote a slightly melodramatic and messy poem about them, this is it.


Half

Swimming through waves of white and navy blue

Of an arm and a leg and a hand or two

The whens and wheres and whos don’t matter anymore

It’s just her and him and the bedroom floor

Constellations in the night sky and on salty skin

Trying her absolute hardest not to say what’s really within

She lets the silence run over them

Wondering what on earth she’d be

Without him

It’s as if there’s a before and after now

Yet still all people ask her is how

Absent mindedly she replies

How? Surely you do not mean how, you mean why

The how is simple the why is not

The how was over a coffee and a tea pot

The why is a cocktail of addiction, of validation

Of an all consuming fear of what she’d be alone at the station

Without him

Bags in hand, ten toes touching the yellow line

Arms intertwined, reassuring wafts of lavender and pine

He whispers, babe I’m sorry I have to go

She cries and cries, please please no

Bags on the ground, the train whizzes by

Fingers interlocked, a sad heavy sigh

If she’d known it could’ve hurt this much

Would she have ever met his touch

But on that fateful summer’s day, she did

Years melted into history, no longer just a kid

Was it just static or a literal spark?

It would be the first flicker to light up the dark

Cut her open and on her heart, you will find his name

Written hopefully at first, now burned in all the same

Intoxicated and lost in a maze of her own creation

He is her friend, her love, her home, her nation

Whimpering softly she asks him to turn on the light

Crushed and crippled, it takes all his might

Shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand

He knows it’s time for him, her, them to stand

Let go and look to the sky, look beyond the sun

A human can be a star, a mouth can be a gun

He fires his final bullet, gentle but tough

Without me, you are you and that is more than enough

scribbles no.1 - one for my little sister

Below is a scribble I did for my little sister, Annie. I'm not sure if it qualifies as a poem, and I'm definitely not a poet but I like scribbling things down from time to time, so here's one of them. Maybe I'll post more of them in the future. For now, here's looking at you kid!

Listen

Honey listen it’s all going to be just fine

Please don’t worry too much about staying in line

Things like these take time

Miley was right, life’s a climb

Darling listen tomorrow will come

It’s okay that today was horribly hum-drum

The sun will set and the moon will rise

And you’ll try again when you open your eyes

Pumpkin listen they aren’t real

Computers have made their legs long, their eyes teal

Your heart is golden, your mind magnificent

Your body is not your only talent

Sweetpea listen you’re not alone

Call me, call a friend, pick up the phone

Your brain spins webs of fiction

It’s okay to not be okay, say it with conviction

Sister listen it’s me

I’ve been here since you were one, two, three

And I’ll be here for as long as I can

It’s you & me, and it’s a great adventure, that’s my plan

IQAA (inspirational quote addicts anonymous)

I, like many others (somewhat ashamedly), love a good inspirational quote or two. But I have decided to boldly embrace my love for cheesy quotes from Pinterest. And what better day than a jam-packed Monday to share a couple of my favourites. Let's do this!

Happy Monday!

eat, pray, love?

Do you have to go on a crazy journey to Italy, India and Bali to discover who you are, what you want and who want to be? Short answer, no probably not. Long answer, I am definitely the wrong person to ask.

I have always fantasised, maybe even romanticised the idea of travelling. About running away, buying a one-way ticket to somewhere on the other side of the world, with one suitcase and just buggering off for a bit. Movies like Eat, Pray, Love definitely did not help this fantasy of mine. Damn you Julia Roberts and your wonderful (fictional) adventure of self-discovery, romance and pizza. Now not only am I looking at flights to Italy, I'm hungry.

Right now, I am just a 19 year old English girl with a list of places to go longer than my arm and very little money to fund such endeavours. Although I was fortunate enough to backpack around Europe for 2 weeks last summer with one of my best friends, I have never been outside of Europe. This is going to change very soon, as I am going to Laos to volunteer at an Elephant Sanctuary this July! (Eeek!) It is times like these, when you type a sentence like that, one you thought you'd never be able to type, I remember my privilege. Travelling is not a birth-right, it is a luxury. I saved for a long time to be able to travel to Laos, and go backpacking last year. I don't think Julia busted tables for months before she ran off to Italy, but I'll let her off because it looks like she was going through some serious stuff.

Although I've never been a fan of reality, the reality of travelling is that it can be expensive. Not always, but a lot of the time. And if you are going with the hope of self-discovery you may want to lower your expectations your little. Of course, you will learn things about yourself and the world around you but if you're going to "find yourself" I beg you to re-consider. I have a problem of running away when I'm sad, thinking that a new environment will solve my problems. Can you guess what happens? I find myself in a new location, still sad, my phone battery nearly dead from over-using Google Maps and £45 poorer because I booked my train ticket so last minute. Don't get me wrong, travelling is wonderful and one of my favourite things to do, but it most probably, definitely will not solve all your problems.

Travel is a privilege and one of the best forms of education. I'm not sure whether lovely Julia actually went a journey of self-discovery, maybe more of a quite intense holiday... debatable. Nevertheless, if you are given the opportunity of travel I am of the school of thought that you should always take it. You meet people from all walks of life you never would've met, you learn how to deal with unexpected situations, you learn new languages, you gain perspective, and so much more. All because you bit the bullet and got on the plane alone even though you hate flying.


At the moment I'm trying to figure out three things:

1. Who am I? 

2. What do I want? 

3. Who do I want to be?

I have no answers yet. All I know is that I know very little, but I'm working on it. Before attending university I wanted to take a gap year but my parents weren't very keen on the idea, preferring me to go after university. And so I did as they asked, but now I'm at the end of my first year and I have spent a lot of time (too much time, sorry lecturers) day dreaming about being anywhere else. Scrolling through Pinterest the other day I stumbled across an Eat, Pray, Love quote, and the following thought crossed my mind;

"Crap. Is it time for eat, pray, love?"

Though I am not going through a divorce or a messy break-up with James Franco, I am struggling more than I would like to admit. And much to my parent's and bank account's dismay, leaving the country for a year to explore the world still sounds incredibly appealing. 

So there it is. I'm not sure how to end this, ultimately I have no answers, no word, but I do have hope. Hope that one day I will explore the world and discover the answers to my questions. (Sorry Mum & Dad.)

everyday magic

Let's face it. Life can be incredibly monotonous and mundane at times. So extremely dull it makes you question, "God this is so boring, what am I doing? Am I wasting my life? Should I run away to Fiji and become a goat farmer? Do they even have goats in Fiji?" Your train of thought might not have been exactly like mine but you catch my drift. Unfortunately it is inevitable that life will be mind-numbingly tedious from time to time. Taxes must be done, emails have to be replied to, errands must be completed. Everyday of your life will not be a whirlwind adventure full of spontaneity, laughter, blue skies, rainbows and deliciously perfect, instagram-able bottomless brunch. (However if your life is like that, please tell me your secret you lucky bastard.) Having said this, there is no need to enter a pit of despair just yet. I have decided to embrace the mundane, and look for everyday magic.

What is 'everyday magic'? Everyday magic comes in many shapes and forms, and your everyday magic may be very different to someone else's! These are a couple things that make my boring days a little more magical.

• an unexpectedly delicious cup of coffee
• the sun peeping out from behind the clouds, even just for a minute or two
• hearing an amazing new song and playing it on repeat for the whole day
• calling a loved one for a catch up
• booking something fun to look forward to, even if it's just an evening off alone to do a face mask and watch Netflix
• having a dance break between emails, essay writing, etc etc
• a cloud that looks like a turtle eating an ice cream cone (weirdly specific but I stand by what I saw!)
• having a shower and almost hitting all the high notes in Someone like You
• seeing a really cute dog and having the courage to ask the owner if I can stroke it
• staying up late to finish a project and seeing an incredible clear night sky full of stars

I really believe it's the little things in life that are sometimes the most special. Tiny moments that no one else might see, but you noticed. And that moment, those couple seconds, are yours forever. Keep an eye out for magic, because it's all around you.

boogie-ing the blues away

Everyone has bad days. It's an unfortunate inevitability of life. When my little sister and I were revising for our end of year exams in secondary school and it felt like our brains may explode, we would have a what we called a 'dance break'. This entailed playing our favourite song at that moment, turning it up as loud as we could without bothering our neighbours and having a good ol' boogie. Be it a little unconventional, it has proved a highly successful and much more fun way to relax, de-stress, and cheer us up a little.

I'm now 19 and at university, and whilst I don't have as many exams I have bucket loads of reading and coursework. And I am in no means immune to a bad day or two. Sometimes when feeling blue, I'm tempted to listen to beautifully heart wrenching songs that I know will 100% not help. I'm looking at you Adele. Damn you and your incredible talent. So, I have constructed a list of songs that will force you to emerge from your duvet cover, put down the Ben & Jerry's and have a little dance and sing-a-long. (warning: you may feel ridiculous at first, but it does help I promise!) This list is merely a handful of random songs that help get me on the dance floor. Whatever gets you foot tappin' or fist pumpin', play it loud and play it proud!!

Green Light - Lorde

Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran

I Don't Feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters (ironic I know)

Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield

Try Everything - Shakira

CAN'T STOP THE FEELING! - Justin Timberlake

Let it Go - Idina Menzel

That's My Girl - Fifth Harmony

Sugar - Maroon 5

Dancing in the Moonlight - Toploader

September - Earth, Wind & Fire

24K Magic - Bruno Mars

Walking On A Dream - Empire of the Sun

Move Your Feet - Anna Kendrick (I know it's from the Trolls movie but trust me!)

Love Myself - Hailee Steinfield

Wannabe - Spice Girls

No Scrubs - TLC

Friday I'm in Love - The Cure

Shake It Out - Florence + The Machine

The Greatest - Sia

Run the World (Girls) - Beyonce

Crazy - Gnarls Barkley

Superstition - Stevie Wonder

You Make My Dreams - Daryl Hall & John Oates

Le Freak - CHIC

Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes ft. Adam Levine

My Type - Saint Motel

Move On Up - Curtis Mayfield

Got to Be Real - Cheryl Lynn

Get boogie-ing and I hope you feel better soon.

(Sadly, dance breaks aren't a long term cure. If you've been having more bad days than good days, it might be time to seek help. Below are a couple links to help you along. Whether you're asking for help from friends and family or professionally, asking for help is extremely brave. And whatever happens you will be okay.)

• NHS
• Mind.org.uk
• Samaritans